Audio Bullys- Take you there

The Science of Sleep

HiLaRiOuS

Killer Kitty

I enjoy sleep. Maybe a little bit more than the next man, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Now the problem lies with my cute cuddle buddy named Genevieve. She's my 3 month old kitten. Now Gennie is the sweetest kitty craigslist can give away but the fact that she doesn't sleep on the same schedule as me is a biiiiiig fuckin problem. So here i am in la la land at 11.30 when my sweet little pussy cat decides to jump off my side table and into my face with all 20 of her little kitty claws. Needless to say i scream like a bitch from the pain and roll off of my bed (which isn't easy to do with a queen sized bed) and hit my head on the jewelry box i keep on the floor. I think after i regained consciousness and stopped screaming i heard my kitty laughing at me. Evil bitch :(

I still lover her lots though :)

Girl (and Boy) Interrupted

So last night the love of my life comes over. We have a great talk and then "things" start to unfold. And by unfold I mean to say that people start getting undressed. But, seeing as how we're both "consenting adults" that isn't the important part. What is important is that half-way through round 1 his phone rings and its his friend that is on the the train near my apartment and he needs my guy to take him back home. This sucks because...
A. Now he can't spend the night
B. I hate his friend
C. Now he can't spend the night
D. Our "session" comes to a screeching halt

Anyhows, off we go to get his friend from the train station yada yada yada. We get back to my apartment and continue business as usual and leave his friend in my living room with the t.v on (with the volume up very loud) and the remote and tell him to fend for himself. So, while we're in the middle of the throws of young love, completely uninhibited and unconcerned that there are other people in my apartment, we hear my door creak. I have a cat so we let it slide... until we see a shadow in the door way. Who is it you ask? I'd be delighted to tell you. Its his weird ass friend. It isn't until my darling dearest dismounts me and we tell him to piss off and that if he's looking for the bathroom he already passed it.
About ten seconds after our "business" is finished I skip to my kitchen to rehydrate and his friend is sitting on the couch staring at me with the t.v. on mute undoubtedly listening to our copulation. At this point, yours truly is utterly disturbed and disgusted. With that being said. I grab a newport and some Orange Juice and return back to my dungeon... quite disturbed.

New Years Eve

throw on a wig, put on some lipstick, and fake an accent... and shit like this happens

Watch your mouth

There are few things in life as important as a first impression. Why do i say that? Because you only get one shot at it. For instance... Im in Kroger with a few friends when someone walks by me and says,(In an attempt to hit on me) "damn shawty you thicka than a jar of peanut butter left out in the cold." I look around me because Im pretty sure that there must be someone else around me that he's talking to. But, no. Its just me and Mr. Inappropriate in aisle 7. He's waiting for me to say something back and knowing me what i would have said was going to be verrrrry disrespectful but since I watch Jersey Shore on MTV (Thursdays @ 10 lol) I know that guys hit bitches in the face when they feel disrespected... So, i put my cart in reverse, replied with "word," and continued on checking miscellaneous items off of my list. Its times like these when ladies respect gentlemen.